心情

有时候我也在想

是不是数月里仓促的几个小约会 不小心看过的短信 无数个独自流眼泪的时候 漫长只有周杰伦懂的夜晚 你那我忘不了的笑容 那股知道会受伤却飞蛾扑火的冲动 

让我渐渐失去了爱的能力

Who Moved My Cheese

1. "The more important the cheese is to you, the more you want to hold on to it."

- finding cheese was the Littlepeople's way of getting what they thought they need to be happy. They had their own ideas of what Cheese meant to them. For some, finding Cheese was having material things. For others, it was enjoying good health or developing a spiritual sense of well-being. 

Summary: 

Cheese = what you thought you need to be happy


2. "Sometimes, things change and they are never the same again. This looks like of those times. That's Life! Live moves on. And so should we." 

3. "Instead of wondering 'Who Moved my Cheese?', why don't you think 'Why I didn't get up and move with the Cheese, sooner?' 

So ... it's been four year huh?

Looking back at my last post, 2016?

...

wow.

Time Flies.

It's been a long day ... huh?

It seems like I've been away from this blog for ... months ? years ? 

... I didn't really remember. 

or should I rephrase like this : 

... I didn't even remember I own this blog. 

Hahaha prolly there's loads of left-out blog of mine out there. Who knows? :p 

Back to topic ! 

I want to talk about my current life today. 

and I think it's necessary to reintroduce myself (again?) 

or maybe i never introduce myself before (ehem) 

I'm Serene, a 21-year-old Malaysian-Johorean 

currently in UK, taking my last year of law degree in Oxford Brookes University. 

and I'm trying to live a positive life, wishing to spread positivity to the world.

It's always one of a big goal of mine. 

Since I'm back now, I'll then talk about my life in UK. 

It's not really my first year leaving home for studies. 

I already leave home for college when I'm 18.  

I still remember the feeling of leaving home to study 

That excitement is never gonna be forgotten. 

I smell freedom, loads of freedom. 

So I guess a lot of people will think that I'm gonna be okay when I leave home for UK. 

but it's not. 

Imagine staying in a place where you can reach home in 3 hours 

and a place where you only can be back home in over 10 hours,

and that's amount of money you need to spend on your flight ticket. 

It's horrible. 

It's horrible when you crave for that home cook food

when you crave for the hugs from your parents

when you crave for everything back in your country. 

and not forgot to mention this: 

you'll gonna miss more when you see your friends posting about mamak food, posting photos about their family trip during school holidays, posting about everything that you can't have. 

It's really saddening. 

But I'm really thankful and appreciate for all of these. 

thankful for the support of my family 

physically, mentally, financially. 

It's not that rare when you see any of your friends going overseas to study. 

for a year, or maybe few years. 

It's normal. 

But think about this: 

1. You are born in a not-so-wealthy family, but you wish to study abroad. 

This is most of the story that I've heard. Not to mention study abroad, some of the families can't even support their children to study in any local university or private college. 

and think about this: 

2. You are born in a rich family, but your parents aren't support you on your studies, and u didn't manage to secure any financial aids or scholarships. 

You might think this is ridiculous, but there are really cases like this. Not saying that the parents are selfish, but trust me, there are still some family practicing in a patriarchal-way and girls normally don't have the chance to study. Or some of them (especially those parents who are very successful in their business) might still believe that spending money on studies is a waste of money. 

and now think about this: 

3. You are born in your family. You wanted to study abroad, and your family support your decision. They buy a lot of things for you to bring to overseas. They teach you how to cook, in case you're hungry and you will never starve even they are not by your side. They buy you new bags, new clothes, new laptop, everything is new. They give you loads of financial support, and when you say they give you too much, they will tell you not to worry too much about them. 

Hmm this is you. 

Compare yourself with the previous ones,

and think about how lucky and grateful you are. 

You never need to worry for everything, 

cause they already provide you everything that you need, 

and everything that you want. 

They give you the best that they can give 

and they'll always say this,

'Don't worry about us. Just take care of yourself and your studies.'

See

your life is perfect. 

You are that lucky to have your family, 

to have everything that you have now, 

and to able to know that they are always there for you, no matter what. 

Of course, there are more 'luckier' people there

to own a sports car before they can earn 

to have pocket money that is double, or triple, or more of yours. 

There are always 2 sides of thinking. 

comparing yourself to the people you are convinced to be above you, 

and comparing yourself to the people which you think to be below you. 

Comparisons make you feel superior, or inferior. 

but neither serve a useful purpose.

What is your definition of 'lucky'? 

If you have everything that you think you need to have (there's difference between 'need' and 'want')

then you are a lucky one. 

Maybe you think that I'm a little too crazy to think like this 

but my definition of lucky is 

to be a successful person, and to have my companion of my family in every phase of my life.

Read this slowly:

'Lifeisnowhere' 

what did you read? 

'life is no where' 

or

'life is now here' 

? 

This is life. Life is all about how you look at it and how you define it. 

Being lucky doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. 

Quoted from @Daphne Charice: 

'Look at it from a different perspective when you find yourself wanting more. 

It is not enough or should you start appreciating the little things? 

Count your blessings, not your problems. 

Believe that you are the lucky one, and you'll be lucky. 

xo

Dreams are not anymore dreams

I've been slacking for such a long time.

I think the last time I ever be proud of myself is... my last semester in foundation?

I've been looking for myself in these few months. 

Slacking, playing, wasting alot of time

while others are really putting alot of effort in their studies

I miss the old me. The old me that I now really admire

Where's my urge to study? Where's my urge aiming for As?

Where are you Serene. Please come back

I need you, 

I know, nobody can help me, except for myself.

I'm the only one who can motivate myself.

Dreams are really just a dream if I don't really give a shit to it

Serene, you need to stand up. 

Stand up and let the whole world knows you.

Or at least, let your parents be proud of you. 

I promised myself that I would provide a very good life for my parents in the future.

Serene, you promised to yourself, and you should work hard for it.

From now on, go for it. Chase for your dreams, and let your dream came true okay?

Control your future, not being control by your future. 

:)

Expectation to myself

It's been so long since i really write blogs about myself. Time flies, it already almost 2 months since I took my degree year 1 results. I still can remember how scare I am while I'm on the way to college. When I'm driving my way up from Johor, my hands were trembling all the way. Results delayed almost 2 weeks, and I keep scaring myself, telling myself that sure alot of people failed, so the markers are remarking our paper. 

Urmmm, my papers.

When I reached college, it was almost 3pm. I went to 2nd floor, and saw some students were in the room. Some were taking their results, and some are filling up the resit form. I started to comfort myself, as I know my standard of writing those law stuff are pretty bad. I told the people in charge my name, and she started to find my certificate among a pile of cert. My heart almost stop when she stops and staring at the cert, and I and pretty sure that is my certificate. Luckily, the first word I heard is 'congratulations'. 

Yay, tears almost burst out, I can't imagine how happy I am at that moment. I called my mom, and she was shocked as my results are still considered not bad. She told me that she just hope that I can pass all the subject and proceed to year 2. Yes, lower expectation to me as usual, but always get surprised haha. 

Now, it's November. 2 months had passed. Bye Criminal law, Public Law, Common Law and Contract. Say hi to Land Law, Company Law, Law of Tort and Law of Evidence. I thought year 1 are hard, but now I realize year 2 are killing me. 

'Simple english, combine jadi alien.' Yes, my definition of alienable. lol

Few more months and I'm gonna finish year 2, and prepared myself to UK. sob* Nothing much to worry, I know that the only think I can do for myself is to work hard. Nobody will help you if you don't even bother to help yourself. So, everybody making new wishes for new year, and I'm gonna make new wishes for my year 2. 

1. Good time management

I'm lazy. like seriously lazy. I hope that I can make myself study each and everyday, and get good results to proceed to my dream university.

2. Save more money

Too many things in my to-buy list, but too less money in my pocket. Hope I can reduce my desire and save more money to UK. Good food everyday are important, I hope i can still get good food while in UK.

3. Always stay positive

I will sometimes filled with negativity, and always blame people when I did wrong. Hopefully I can change this attitude, be more mature.

4. Able to focus

I found out myself are more difficult to focus on whatever I do. So I hope that I can be more focus in the future. F O C U S

5. No more excuses
People always tend to give alot of excuses to people and to themselves. I were in that too and get myself alot of troubles. Now, I wish I can change this a become a better person. 

(to be continue...)

8 FACTS ABOUT ME?

Recently I was busying in getting myself out from the room to run. 

Yes, run. Nahhhh, is jogging.
I like to use 'run' instead of 'jog'. Sounds more energetic right? lol

Yeap, after around 1 years not exercise, I finally went jogging 2 days ago.

Reasons? Because I'm fat.

I become so so fat compared to the skinny girl back then. 

I still remember everybody 'praising' on my figure.

How I miss the time! But everything change after I came KL to study.

College life is fun. Burger become my everyday favourite food.

I took McD breakfast AT LEAST 3 times a week.

Yayyyyy, it's delicious. But unhealthy and FATTTTT

Now, i realise my body condition is getting serious day by day. 

Getting fatter and fatter. 

And the feeling of sadness overwhelmed me when I realize that i can't even fit into pretty shorts.

Urghhhh

Yes, food you consumed is important, but what makes my 'slim' body to transform to 'okay okay' body is actually my lifestyle.

Taking unhealthy fast food, and not exercise for the whole year.

Can u imagine? Sometimes I don't want to eat because I'm lazy to get myself out from the room.

How lazy I am.

Now, I start to prepare foods by myself, cook myself and bake myself.

When I feel lazy to cook, I will bring myself and my friend to the nearest Organic Food Shop to eat.

Anddd... I reduce the quantity of meat intake. 

It really helps alot. Maybe not? But at least I not feeling any guilty to myself when taking outside food. lol.

Okay now, here come the eight facts about me.


1. I like to sing, but only in karaoke.

Teehee, I like to sing a lot. I can sing Chinese song, English song, Malay song, and some Taiwanese song. I myself prefer to sing English song as most the singer has middle low pitch, which suits my voice. People always surprise with my singing as I normally speak with a very high pitch sound. Don't ask me why, I was born weird. lol


2. Animal lover

Extremely like animals especially dogs and cats. Whenever I saw stray dogs or cats beside the road when I'm driving, I feel like stop by the road side and get the small ones some foods, or some hugs. They need love. I knew that I will definitely bring them home if I got my own house in KL, lol. Just cant bear to watch them like that. 


3. Took law, but love Maths 

Haha, I realize most of the law student choose to study law is because they hate

maths.

But, I completely different from them. 

I love maths. I like numbers. 

I planned to take either Law or Actuarial Science in my degree. At last, I choose law. Maybe is because I'm afraid that my passion towards maths will fades when I solving a question that I can't get the right answer. lol. Typical loser type D:


4. Used to hate my siblings, lol.


4 siblings is definitely making this house warmer, but of course, noisier.
At first, I don't really appreciate my siblings, especially my younger brother, which is 5 years younger than me. I felt like there's a huge gaps between us, age gaps I guess? By the way, i used to hate him as he likes to bully my twin sisters ( forget to mention that my sisters are twins ). I dote my 2 sister very much, always bought them foods and bring them anywhere they want. Spoil them haha. By the way, I plan ( okay, not plan but hope ) that I got an older brother or sister that can take care of me, help me do a lot of things. But as I grew older, I met a lot of people, telling me that they envy me so much as I get so much younger siblings. Yes, noisier, but warmer. Children owns a pure heart, so do my brother and sister. They always make me laugh, make me happy.
From the bottom of my heart, I learn to appreciate them.
They are so innocent, and cute.


5.  like to look things in their positive side

Yes, I learn to look at the positive side of things all the times. When my car broke down, I thank god because I didn't met with an accident. When I met with an accident, I thank god because i survive. When you try to look at the positive side of everything, you will realize that your life today is brighter than yesterday. You will be more happy, like seriously happy. 


6. like to wear dress or skirt more than shorts 


Reason why a lot of youngster doesn't like to wear dress:
They feel uncomfortable and insecure
In contrast, I feel more secure wearing a dress or skirt, maybe because I have a very 'big' thigh which make me lose all my self confident. ( Read the beginning of this article and you will found out that I keep mentioning the FAT word ) Besides, dress are more girlish,isn't it? I like myself to look more girl girl to attract my boyfriend. 
Teehee!


7. own a natural curly hair


Urgh, I hate this point of me. Curly hair makes me feel messy.... and ugly. I straightened my hair for around 3-4 times but it only can last for around 8 months. I need to consider a very long time before I get my next rebonding. The smell sucks. 



8. Not good at socializing


A lot of my friends told me that I looks arrogant and fierce when they first saw me. Urghh, I just don't good at socializing. I won't be the first person to start the talk, I'm shy though. Not to praise myself or what, but I'm really a friendly person. Next time if you saw me, just came in front and say 'Hi' to you, we might click well and who knows, BF forever? lol




So.... that's basically what I want to say. Nothing much to say as a fresh blogger, still in the learning process. To you who spent some time to read my blog, thank you so much, hope you like my blog! :D