Dreams are not anymore dreams

I've been slacking for such a long time.

I think the last time I ever be proud of myself is... my last semester in foundation?

I've been looking for myself in these few months. 

Slacking, playing, wasting alot of time

while others are really putting alot of effort in their studies

I miss the old me. The old me that I now really admire

Where's my urge to study? Where's my urge aiming for As?

Where are you Serene. Please come back

I need you, 

I know, nobody can help me, except for myself.

I'm the only one who can motivate myself.

Dreams are really just a dream if I don't really give a shit to it

Serene, you need to stand up. 

Stand up and let the whole world knows you.

Or at least, let your parents be proud of you. 

I promised myself that I would provide a very good life for my parents in the future.

Serene, you promised to yourself, and you should work hard for it.

From now on, go for it. Chase for your dreams, and let your dream came true okay?

Control your future, not being control by your future. 

:)

Expectation to myself

It's been so long since i really write blogs about myself. Time flies, it already almost 2 months since I took my degree year 1 results. I still can remember how scare I am while I'm on the way to college. When I'm driving my way up from Johor, my hands were trembling all the way. Results delayed almost 2 weeks, and I keep scaring myself, telling myself that sure alot of people failed, so the markers are remarking our paper. 

Urmmm, my papers.

When I reached college, it was almost 3pm. I went to 2nd floor, and saw some students were in the room. Some were taking their results, and some are filling up the resit form. I started to comfort myself, as I know my standard of writing those law stuff are pretty bad. I told the people in charge my name, and she started to find my certificate among a pile of cert. My heart almost stop when she stops and staring at the cert, and I and pretty sure that is my certificate. Luckily, the first word I heard is 'congratulations'. 

Yay, tears almost burst out, I can't imagine how happy I am at that moment. I called my mom, and she was shocked as my results are still considered not bad. She told me that she just hope that I can pass all the subject and proceed to year 2. Yes, lower expectation to me as usual, but always get surprised haha. 

Now, it's November. 2 months had passed. Bye Criminal law, Public Law, Common Law and Contract. Say hi to Land Law, Company Law, Law of Tort and Law of Evidence. I thought year 1 are hard, but now I realize year 2 are killing me. 

'Simple english, combine jadi alien.' Yes, my definition of alienable. lol

Few more months and I'm gonna finish year 2, and prepared myself to UK. sob* Nothing much to worry, I know that the only think I can do for myself is to work hard. Nobody will help you if you don't even bother to help yourself. So, everybody making new wishes for new year, and I'm gonna make new wishes for my year 2. 

1. Good time management

I'm lazy. like seriously lazy. I hope that I can make myself study each and everyday, and get good results to proceed to my dream university.

2. Save more money

Too many things in my to-buy list, but too less money in my pocket. Hope I can reduce my desire and save more money to UK. Good food everyday are important, I hope i can still get good food while in UK.

3. Always stay positive

I will sometimes filled with negativity, and always blame people when I did wrong. Hopefully I can change this attitude, be more mature.

4. Able to focus

I found out myself are more difficult to focus on whatever I do. So I hope that I can be more focus in the future. F O C U S

5. No more excuses
People always tend to give alot of excuses to people and to themselves. I were in that too and get myself alot of troubles. Now, I wish I can change this a become a better person. 

(to be continue...)

8 FACTS ABOUT ME?

Recently I was busying in getting myself out from the room to run. 

Yes, run. Nahhhh, is jogging.
I like to use 'run' instead of 'jog'. Sounds more energetic right? lol

Yeap, after around 1 years not exercise, I finally went jogging 2 days ago.

Reasons? Because I'm fat.

I become so so fat compared to the skinny girl back then. 

I still remember everybody 'praising' on my figure.

How I miss the time! But everything change after I came KL to study.

College life is fun. Burger become my everyday favourite food.

I took McD breakfast AT LEAST 3 times a week.

Yayyyyy, it's delicious. But unhealthy and FATTTTT

Now, i realise my body condition is getting serious day by day. 

Getting fatter and fatter. 

And the feeling of sadness overwhelmed me when I realize that i can't even fit into pretty shorts.

Urghhhh

Yes, food you consumed is important, but what makes my 'slim' body to transform to 'okay okay' body is actually my lifestyle.

Taking unhealthy fast food, and not exercise for the whole year.

Can u imagine? Sometimes I don't want to eat because I'm lazy to get myself out from the room.

How lazy I am.

Now, I start to prepare foods by myself, cook myself and bake myself.

When I feel lazy to cook, I will bring myself and my friend to the nearest Organic Food Shop to eat.

Anddd... I reduce the quantity of meat intake. 

It really helps alot. Maybe not? But at least I not feeling any guilty to myself when taking outside food. lol.

Okay now, here come the eight facts about me.


1. I like to sing, but only in karaoke.

Teehee, I like to sing a lot. I can sing Chinese song, English song, Malay song, and some Taiwanese song. I myself prefer to sing English song as most the singer has middle low pitch, which suits my voice. People always surprise with my singing as I normally speak with a very high pitch sound. Don't ask me why, I was born weird. lol


2. Animal lover

Extremely like animals especially dogs and cats. Whenever I saw stray dogs or cats beside the road when I'm driving, I feel like stop by the road side and get the small ones some foods, or some hugs. They need love. I knew that I will definitely bring them home if I got my own house in KL, lol. Just cant bear to watch them like that. 


3. Took law, but love Maths 

Haha, I realize most of the law student choose to study law is because they hate

maths.

But, I completely different from them. 

I love maths. I like numbers. 

I planned to take either Law or Actuarial Science in my degree. At last, I choose law. Maybe is because I'm afraid that my passion towards maths will fades when I solving a question that I can't get the right answer. lol. Typical loser type D:


4. Used to hate my siblings, lol.


4 siblings is definitely making this house warmer, but of course, noisier.
At first, I don't really appreciate my siblings, especially my younger brother, which is 5 years younger than me. I felt like there's a huge gaps between us, age gaps I guess? By the way, i used to hate him as he likes to bully my twin sisters ( forget to mention that my sisters are twins ). I dote my 2 sister very much, always bought them foods and bring them anywhere they want. Spoil them haha. By the way, I plan ( okay, not plan but hope ) that I got an older brother or sister that can take care of me, help me do a lot of things. But as I grew older, I met a lot of people, telling me that they envy me so much as I get so much younger siblings. Yes, noisier, but warmer. Children owns a pure heart, so do my brother and sister. They always make me laugh, make me happy.
From the bottom of my heart, I learn to appreciate them.
They are so innocent, and cute.


5.  like to look things in their positive side

Yes, I learn to look at the positive side of things all the times. When my car broke down, I thank god because I didn't met with an accident. When I met with an accident, I thank god because i survive. When you try to look at the positive side of everything, you will realize that your life today is brighter than yesterday. You will be more happy, like seriously happy. 


6. like to wear dress or skirt more than shorts 


Reason why a lot of youngster doesn't like to wear dress:
They feel uncomfortable and insecure
In contrast, I feel more secure wearing a dress or skirt, maybe because I have a very 'big' thigh which make me lose all my self confident. ( Read the beginning of this article and you will found out that I keep mentioning the FAT word ) Besides, dress are more girlish,isn't it? I like myself to look more girl girl to attract my boyfriend. 
Teehee!


7. own a natural curly hair


Urgh, I hate this point of me. Curly hair makes me feel messy.... and ugly. I straightened my hair for around 3-4 times but it only can last for around 8 months. I need to consider a very long time before I get my next rebonding. The smell sucks. 



8. Not good at socializing


A lot of my friends told me that I looks arrogant and fierce when they first saw me. Urghh, I just don't good at socializing. I won't be the first person to start the talk, I'm shy though. Not to praise myself or what, but I'm really a friendly person. Next time if you saw me, just came in front and say 'Hi' to you, we might click well and who knows, BF forever? lol




So.... that's basically what I want to say. Nothing much to say as a fresh blogger, still in the learning process. To you who spent some time to read my blog, thank you so much, hope you like my blog! :D

N E W B L O G

Haha, so i decided to open a new blog... again.  Yes, again. I'm a typical Aquarius : new grass is always greener.

Actually there's reason why i want to use a new blog instead of the old blog

1. Like to write a bunch of nonsense

Yes, i like to write those nonsense stuff and express myself on the blog. As i grew older, i realize that it is not so good to expose too much of myself to the world. You won't know what will happen in the future, next year, next month, next week or tomorrow. You wouldn't know who's watching over you, and they might plan something evil on you. Besides, the worst part is, people can simple obtain your personal information, especially those identity theft, pretending as you, and commit crime using your name. Urghhh.... sounds too serious, but who knows, you might be one of their target. 

2. Want to become a new me

19 years of living in this world, and I did make my life amazing, in both good and bad way. I did not regret of doing those wrong things, but instead, i learnt from there. I learnt from my wrongs, my mistakes, and pray for the strength to stand up when i fall. It's impossible to leave our past behind, but i just tried my best to transforming myself to become a better me.

3. Trying to improve my English

I was grown in a Chinese speaking town. Everybody speaks either Chinese, Malay, or Hokkien ( for sure Indian will still speak their language :p ;p ). I did not blame for that, and i appreciated my life at my hometown. It's a small town in Johor Bharu, closer to Melaka, called Muar. Although i could not conduct fluent English, I appreciated my life at there as my Mandarin was consider 'very good' compared to others in KL. But now, i realize the importance of English, not the grammar, but the way you conduct your words, the way you express yourself. Knowing how to speak fluent Chinese makes myself step one step further than others, but mastering English can make me step more further than now. So, please forgive me if I have used any wrong grammar or wrong words, or making any weird weird sentence. Please do tell me my mistakes, and i will be very very very appreciate your help. People learn when they make mistake, isn't it?  

I will end my first post here. Please do email me: serene02084@gmail.com. Thanks!