Dreams are not anymore dreams

I've been slacking for such a long time.

I think the last time I ever be proud of myself is... my last semester in foundation?

I've been looking for myself in these few months. 

Slacking, playing, wasting alot of time

while others are really putting alot of effort in their studies

I miss the old me. The old me that I now really admire

Where's my urge to study? Where's my urge aiming for As?

Where are you Serene. Please come back

I need you, 

I know, nobody can help me, except for myself.

I'm the only one who can motivate myself.

Dreams are really just a dream if I don't really give a shit to it

Serene, you need to stand up. 

Stand up and let the whole world knows you.

Or at least, let your parents be proud of you. 

I promised myself that I would provide a very good life for my parents in the future.

Serene, you promised to yourself, and you should work hard for it.

From now on, go for it. Chase for your dreams, and let your dream came true okay?

Control your future, not being control by your future. 

:)

Expectation to myself

It's been so long since i really write blogs about myself. Time flies, it already almost 2 months since I took my degree year 1 results. I still can remember how scare I am while I'm on the way to college. When I'm driving my way up from Johor, my hands were trembling all the way. Results delayed almost 2 weeks, and I keep scaring myself, telling myself that sure alot of people failed, so the markers are remarking our paper. 

Urmmm, my papers.

When I reached college, it was almost 3pm. I went to 2nd floor, and saw some students were in the room. Some were taking their results, and some are filling up the resit form. I started to comfort myself, as I know my standard of writing those law stuff are pretty bad. I told the people in charge my name, and she started to find my certificate among a pile of cert. My heart almost stop when she stops and staring at the cert, and I and pretty sure that is my certificate. Luckily, the first word I heard is 'congratulations'. 

Yay, tears almost burst out, I can't imagine how happy I am at that moment. I called my mom, and she was shocked as my results are still considered not bad. She told me that she just hope that I can pass all the subject and proceed to year 2. Yes, lower expectation to me as usual, but always get surprised haha. 

Now, it's November. 2 months had passed. Bye Criminal law, Public Law, Common Law and Contract. Say hi to Land Law, Company Law, Law of Tort and Law of Evidence. I thought year 1 are hard, but now I realize year 2 are killing me. 

'Simple english, combine jadi alien.' Yes, my definition of alienable. lol

Few more months and I'm gonna finish year 2, and prepared myself to UK. sob* Nothing much to worry, I know that the only think I can do for myself is to work hard. Nobody will help you if you don't even bother to help yourself. So, everybody making new wishes for new year, and I'm gonna make new wishes for my year 2. 

1. Good time management

I'm lazy. like seriously lazy. I hope that I can make myself study each and everyday, and get good results to proceed to my dream university.

2. Save more money

Too many things in my to-buy list, but too less money in my pocket. Hope I can reduce my desire and save more money to UK. Good food everyday are important, I hope i can still get good food while in UK.

3. Always stay positive

I will sometimes filled with negativity, and always blame people when I did wrong. Hopefully I can change this attitude, be more mature.

4. Able to focus

I found out myself are more difficult to focus on whatever I do. So I hope that I can be more focus in the future. F O C U S

5. No more excuses
People always tend to give alot of excuses to people and to themselves. I were in that too and get myself alot of troubles. Now, I wish I can change this a become a better person. 

(to be continue...)